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Monday, 09 February 2009

  • :?

    OoO.......I feel Queezzy In my Stomach.......After talking to my friend about a dream I had, she mentioned that God showed me this about the person so I could tell them. I did'nt think of it that way...but now since she released that to me.......I feel something in my belly stirring......to do just that.......
    erRgh.......I believe God is wanting me to ask somebody something that I had a dream about concerning them.......But Why do I feel So.....Nervous? ...Fearful? ...Scared?
    Maybe because God had me to tell this person something before, and it was not received well, but it was what God told me to say.........
    OoOoo......I don't ......know.......what.......to.....do......
    Should I say?.....Or should I keep shut??

    :?

Sunday, 08 February 2009

Saturday, 07 February 2009

  • Everything has changed about me in all aspects. I have to now redefine my definition of fun, but first find out what it is.
    Me, and a BF of mind stumbled into a lounge AKA HOOD CLUB (looked like a mellow lounge outside, but inside looked like it was time to THROW MY HOOD UP).
    I was highly disappointed b/c it felt like I was 18 again, And I wanted something more grown-ish.  The atmosphere was wack, and I was uncomfortable. Thank God we got in free, and we stayed for only a little while. I felt the impulse to compensate the weirdness with about 10 drinks, but I didn't.  It wasn't worth it.  Well, it has been about 2 years since I been anywhere like that.
    After leaving I wondered what 's my definition of fun these days. I am searching for new things to do, and that place was too familiar for comfort.  I will have to search now what it is that will make me want to go out, and I have an actual good time. Rediscovering yourself is a strenous journey...
    I don't know. well see..
    Well least we looked hott ;)

    . IMG_1202-1.jpg picture by memo2662
    BFF <3

Tuesday, 03 February 2009

  • Currently
    Hot Fuss
    By The Killers
    Smile Like you Mean it
    see related

    Why? weirdness....

    GEDC1669.jpg picture by memo2662

    WooHoo! So, I just came from an awesome concert tonight by the Killers! I not only seen them perform, but scored backstage passes to meet them as well, which was sweet! They were cool, especially Brandon (Lead), and Mark (Guitar). We hugged. It was all good.  The concert was Great! But something EXTREMELY disturbed me tonight on a level that I never imagined.
    As I am stoked to be at the concert after miraculously winning tickets, and passes the night before, me , and my friend Charie were very giddy, and eager to wait in line to enter the venue like everyone else, but I started noticing we were getting a lot of stares. As we entered the venue, we had to wait in a  little go between from the bar to the venue for the radio crew so we, and the other backstage winners to meet up and see the crew. So as me, and my friend  Charie were waiting it became very apparent that people kept looking at us in a weird way-well my friend Charie noticed it first. She laughed it off saying "Well, I don't see color, but I guess everyone else does."  Then jokingly she says: "Maybe we don't belong."
    After she said that I started to look around us, and yes, apparently we were the only black people at the concert so maybe that's why it caused everyone to take second looks, and keep a non blinking gaze. But what is the difference? Why the blank stares like 'Uhhh...what are they doing here"
    First of all, I have been a Killers fan since Hot Fuss (their first album in 2004) came on the market, and have been a fan ever since   I know all of their lyrics, and they are FREQUENTLY on my ipod, and in my cd deck.  I love their 80's sound, and appreciate their hidden meanings, and messages in their songs-Basically I have been a long time fan, so when I heard they were coming  I definitely wanted to see them, but it disturbed me how we got so many looks. Then we seen a guy, and a girl waiting a little further than where we were, and I was wondering if they were apart of the Backstage pass group we were waiting for, because they kept on looking our way.  I noticed they had the same wrist bands we had on so I walked over there  (to break the staring), and asked if they were for backstage as well, and they were like 'Yea, your for the concert too?" FIRST OF ALL that was the only event AT the venue so I did not understand that question, but I answered yea, and went on a friendly chat anyways with them b/c I love to mingle.
    When they rallied up the group together, and we got in the venue, the staring got worst, but I felt like it was more b/c we were waiting to get in the back, and everyone could see, but I still felt uncomfortable.  No one really mingled with us, like I seen others, but me, and my friend mingled together, and with the Radio crew, so it was all good. After we seen The Killers which they were real cool, and the concert progressed, I noticed stares of sort  of astonishment from people by me because I knew all the lyrics to the songs where half of the people there didn't really know them at all.  I wasn't loud b/c I have an itchy throat so I couldn't really scream like I wanted, but people close to me heard me, and I noticed one girl was staring at me almost the whole night when every song came on, and the reason why I knew she was staring was because every time I looked that way she smiled, and looked away, but that was every time I looked at her.
    But in the midst of all that I enjoyed myself, but it left a bitter taste in my mouth.  No, I was not the girl who won free tickets, and didn't know who was performing, but just came for the hell of it. One of the backstage pass winners came up to me, and my friend and asked us' "So are you guys Big Killer fans?  I was like Yea, I have been a fan since Hot fuss, and she seemed shocked, and was like "Okay. Thats cool, because you know some people just came, but don't even know them, you know."  I had no comment.  The atmosphere was weird.
    Thats like Me looking at every race weird who's ever came to concerts like Kanye, or any concert I've been to.  Music is Music,and it doesn't have a color, or maybe it hasn't to me.
    I am a very diverse girl, and I do not see color; been like that since I was a child. My parents did not raise me that way either, and it has never been an issue in the most majority of my life.  I get along with everyone a great deal, of all cultures.  I have always been one to embrace all differences in life. 
    But tonight it was very IN YOUR FACE, and apparent that it was "weird" that we were there.  I pray for equality to reign in the hearts of everyone, for we will never move forward this way.
    hmmm.....................

Sunday, 01 February 2009

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memo2662

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